Dear Meagan,
So I am currently reading the last book of the Bible, Revelation, as I watch the recent sermons that our church did. Being a relatively new Christian again, some of it seems to be over my head. There is a lot of symbolism in the book that is hard to follow. There are a few things that I learned overall though that I think/hope will help you on your journey.
The first thing is that we ALL go through tribulation (hard times). The tribulations are different for everyone, but we all go through them. One of your tribulations was your brain tumor and the recovery process following that. We are not measured by our tribulations but by how we come through them. Unfortunately, some people allow bitterness and perhaps depression to come over them. Depression is hard because there is a chemical and emotional component. Some do need the chemical component treated so they can work on dealing with the emotional. Just remember throughout your unique recovery that while the evil of the world is bringing you down, God wants you to be brought back up. When a negative thought about your recovery comes into your head, don't let it dwell there. Instead pray that God pulls you through this tribulation. Something that you need to remember is that God takes all bad things and turns them into GOOD. We may not be able to see the good when we are going through the struggles, but we will eventually. So as you are going through the struggles (emotional, physical, whatever) of being a brain tumor survivor- don't let those troubles stay in your head. Instead pray and THANK God for the blessings in your life (for surviving the tumor, for clarity, and for your awesome sister hehe jk ;). Thank him and pray for positive thoughts and healing.
It's not your fault that sometimes you struggle with your recovery. But you do have the power to overcome it! I can't wait to see you on Sunday to watch the Lions gammmmeee and grill out! Good times ahead :) You are amazing and beautiful and strong- I am in awe of you and thankful to God for bringing you through your tribulations.
Keep rockin, rock star :)
XOXO,
Brooke
Thursday, September 18, 2014
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
mAss Kickers Paintball: FIGHT BACK!
Dear Meagan,
So for a couple years now you have been involved with a group called mAss kickers. All I really knew about it was that they handed out yellow stickers that say 'Tumors Suck!' and promoted tumor awareness. I also knew a spirited guy named Eric created and ran the organization. What I didn't know was just how much EVERYONE in the group KICK'S MASSSSSSSS!!!!!
Meaggy I am so happy I got to meet all of the amazing people you get to interact with on a regular basis. When you were first diagnosed with your brain tumor, I remember you continuing to say that no one else your age has to go through this... 'why me?' And while the circumstances are still not awesome- you have people who shared your experience and know exactly what you are going through! Now you get to FIGHT BACK TOGETHER! And that is beautiful and inspiring!
The fact that you can take what you have been through and help SO many people (while they help you too) is just phenomenal :) That paintball event was FREAKING AWESOME :) I can NOT believe you got to get in a TANK and open fire on both teams! That must have been an absolute blast- and everyone there was determined to make sure of it! What awesome support :)
I am so proud of you and every other patient that I meet on Saturday. You all kick mAss and amaze me. I love the spirit and determination in each and every one of you. Every patient there had a major life changed post brain (or other) tumor, but you are all finding ways to improve the lives of others and FIGHT BACK. I'm sure that God and all the angels just look down and smile at your group and the tremendous adversities you have overcome :)
I love you! You are awesome! Stick with this group!
XOXO,
Brooke
P.S. Whhhhaaaattttttttt nowwwwww mAAAAAAsssssssss!!!!?????!!!!!
So for a couple years now you have been involved with a group called mAss kickers. All I really knew about it was that they handed out yellow stickers that say 'Tumors Suck!' and promoted tumor awareness. I also knew a spirited guy named Eric created and ran the organization. What I didn't know was just how much EVERYONE in the group KICK'S MASSSSSSSS!!!!!
Meaggy I am so happy I got to meet all of the amazing people you get to interact with on a regular basis. When you were first diagnosed with your brain tumor, I remember you continuing to say that no one else your age has to go through this... 'why me?' And while the circumstances are still not awesome- you have people who shared your experience and know exactly what you are going through! Now you get to FIGHT BACK TOGETHER! And that is beautiful and inspiring!
The fact that you can take what you have been through and help SO many people (while they help you too) is just phenomenal :) That paintball event was FREAKING AWESOME :) I can NOT believe you got to get in a TANK and open fire on both teams! That must have been an absolute blast- and everyone there was determined to make sure of it! What awesome support :)
I am so proud of you and every other patient that I meet on Saturday. You all kick mAss and amaze me. I love the spirit and determination in each and every one of you. Every patient there had a major life changed post brain (or other) tumor, but you are all finding ways to improve the lives of others and FIGHT BACK. I'm sure that God and all the angels just look down and smile at your group and the tremendous adversities you have overcome :)
I love you! You are awesome! Stick with this group!
XOXO,
Brooke
P.S. Whhhhaaaattttttttt nowwwwww mAAAAAAsssssssss!!!!?????!!!!!
Friday, June 20, 2014
2 year anniversary!
Dear Meagan,
Yesterday marks the two year anniversary of this blog! I hope it has been encouraging and helpful to you, it definitely has been for me- as I feel I can be there for you a little bit more even though I don't live next door. I will support and be there for you whether you like it or not for as long as we live and beyond that. I'll never give up on you, I'll never let you feel incompetent, I'll never let you doubt yourself. I will always encourage you, I will always build you up, and I will always help you focus on your incredible strengths. Your journey has been a crazy and inspiring one. One day we will be in heaven, looking over your life and be amazed at some of the surprisingly positive ways your tumor changed all of our lives. I know there is only so much that I can say, having not gone through what you have. I found an inspiring blog of a woman with re-current brain tumors (tear) that I thought you might be interested in looking at.
http://www.virtualtrials.com/survivecheryl.cfm
Here is her most recent post:
I feel like I can breathe again. On January 13th, 2014, I had my last MRI and got good news. The tiny 4mm "thing" that showed up this last August, looked the same. It consistently looked the same on my MRIs this past September, November, and now January, 2014.
My neuro-oncologist in the past thought is was likely the GBM back again, but since it has not changed over the last five months, he now thinks it is just a cluster of arteries. Over time, radiation often causes "vessels" to weaken and break down; in response our brains can try to "fix" it by growing new tiny arteries around the damage.
So at this point, we are moving ahead thinking it is NOT recurrence #5. GOOD NEWS! Again, wow, I can relax (a little) and breathe again. I will get my next MRI in April, 2014. Three months! That is the longest time I have had between MRIs in a long time.
It is amazing that how you "feel" can change overnight. As the MRI drew closer, I began feeling more like a cancer patient, depressed, stressed, weak, fatigued, like life was so limited. Then I got good MRI news and I felt like a new person. This morning I woke up with energy like I could do anything. It is hard to describe the difference, but it is like from death to life!
It is so scary how much power our "thoughts" can have over how we feel. I know this from my experience, but I still can't control it well. I need to keep telling myself over and over again, when I am having a "hard" time, that it can (will !!!) get better. It's crazy how I can go from feeling like curling up on the couch and rotting away, to the next day feeling like I could run a marathon! Talk about an emotional roller coaster ride.
And for me, this "hard" time lasted 5 months, since getting questionable MRI news this past August. Talk about being "traumatized". My heart goes out to you other brain tumor patients and caregivers going through the same struggle. It's not easy. But please hold on there, when you are having a hard day (or months!). It can get better! Keep telling yourself that over and over (like I try to do myself!).
I will continue doing the same things – alternative treatments. Taking the many supplements each day and eating organic. I followed the Ketogenic diet for 2 months, but it was too hard for me. So now I am following the "Paleo" diet, low on carbohydrates, but you can eat more veggies and fruits. And one day a week, I am letting myself eat the "bad" stuff (high carbs). So I can have popcorn at a movie; or bread at a restaurant! But only one day a week! (well, I am bad when on vacations).
I had been on the DCA for over 2 months, but went off of it when my feet started to get numb. I love backpacking so do not want numb feet! So I started taking Metformin a couple weeks ago instead. Only 250 mg a day at this point; I may go up to 500 mg (I know of some cancer patient taking 1,000 mg+ a day). There is more research out there on how it helps fight cancer, so I will stick with it!
I am also continuing to take the medical marijuana. I hate the stoned feeling the THC cannabis makes me feel, so I am only taking the CBD cannabis. I take about 0.1 gram each night at 8 pm and it helps me relax in the evening and sleep like a rock at night. There is more and more research showing how it helps fight brain cancer too!!!
I will keep exercising five days a week, sleeping 8+ hours each night, simplifying life to reduce stress, and giving it all over to God who is the foundation of my peace, HOPE and joy.
And just as all my brain tumor friends, I will continue to live from MRI to MRI. Hoping that we will all get some good MRI news in 2014.
Yesterday marks the two year anniversary of this blog! I hope it has been encouraging and helpful to you, it definitely has been for me- as I feel I can be there for you a little bit more even though I don't live next door. I will support and be there for you whether you like it or not for as long as we live and beyond that. I'll never give up on you, I'll never let you feel incompetent, I'll never let you doubt yourself. I will always encourage you, I will always build you up, and I will always help you focus on your incredible strengths. Your journey has been a crazy and inspiring one. One day we will be in heaven, looking over your life and be amazed at some of the surprisingly positive ways your tumor changed all of our lives. I know there is only so much that I can say, having not gone through what you have. I found an inspiring blog of a woman with re-current brain tumors (tear) that I thought you might be interested in looking at.
http://www.virtualtrials.com/survivecheryl.cfm
Here is her most recent post:
Update 1/25/2014
I feel like I can breathe again. On January 13th, 2014, I had my last MRI and got good news. The tiny 4mm "thing" that showed up this last August, looked the same. It consistently looked the same on my MRIs this past September, November, and now January, 2014. My neuro-oncologist in the past thought is was likely the GBM back again, but since it has not changed over the last five months, he now thinks it is just a cluster of arteries. Over time, radiation often causes "vessels" to weaken and break down; in response our brains can try to "fix" it by growing new tiny arteries around the damage. So at this point, we are moving ahead thinking it is NOT recurrence #5. GOOD NEWS! Again, wow, I can relax (a little) and breathe again. I will get my next MRI in April, 2014. Three months! That is the longest time I have had between MRIs in a long time. It is amazing that how you "feel" can change overnight. As the MRI drew closer, I began feeling more like a cancer patient, depressed, stressed, weak, fatigued, like life was so limited. Then I got good MRI news and I felt like a new person. This morning I woke up with energy like I could do anything. It is hard to describe the difference, but it is like from death to life! It is so scary how much power our "thoughts" can have over how we feel. I know this from my experience, but I still can't control it well. I need to keep telling myself over and over again, when I am having a "hard" time, that it can (will !!!) get better. It's crazy how I can go from feeling like curling up on the couch and rotting away, to the next day feeling like I could run a marathon! Talk about an emotional roller coaster ride. And for me, this "hard" time lasted 5 months, since getting questionable MRI news this past August. Talk about being "traumatized". My heart goes out to you other brain tumor patients and caregivers going through the same struggle. It's not easy. But please hold on there, when you are having a hard day (or months!). It can get better! Keep telling yourself that over and over (like I try to do myself!). I will continue doing the same things – alternative treatments. Taking the many supplements each day and eating organic. I followed the Ketogenic diet for 2 months, but it was too hard for me. So now I am following the "Paleo" diet, low on carbohydrates, but you can eat more veggies and fruits. And one day a week, I am letting myself eat the "bad" stuff (high carbs). So I can have popcorn at a movie; or bread at a restaurant! But only one day a week! (well, I am bad when on vacations). I had been on the DCA for over 2 months, but went off of it when my feet started to get numb. I love backpacking so do not want numb feet! So I started taking Metformin a couple weeks ago instead. Only 250 mg a day at this point; I may go up to 500 mg (I know of some cancer patient taking 1,000 mg+ a day). There is more research out there on how it helps fight cancer, so I will stick with it! I am also continuing to take the medical marijuana. I hate the stoned feeling the THC cannabis makes me feel, so I am only taking the CBD cannabis. I take about 0.1 gram each night at 8 pm and it helps me relax in the evening and sleep like a rock at night. There is more and more research showing how it helps fight brain cancer too!!! I will keep exercising five days a week, sleeping 8+ hours each night, simplifying life to reduce stress, and giving it all over to God who is the foundation of my peace, HOPE and joy. And just as all my brain tumor friends, I will continue to live from MRI to MRI. Hoping that we will all get some good MRI news in 2014.
I think we can learn a lot from her Meaggy! Good nutrition, excercise, enough sleep, enjoying life, and G-O-D, are the answer here. (To bad the medical marijuana thing is actually not good for your specific case lol). Keep that in mind and keep on keeping on... always remembering that brain injury recovery is not counted in hours or days or months, but in years. You are amazing chica, I'm proud of you, and I love you!
XOXO,
Brooke
Friday, June 13, 2014
The Good Life
Dear Meagan,
So last week I got to visit your apartment and all I can say is: "You lucky B****!!!" ;) Your place is amazing- I am in LOVE with it. The kitchen is super cute and your walk-in closet/half bath is perfecto! AND being right on the water, what the heck. Mom may be living vicariously through you because you live on a lake. Almost everyone I know wants to live on a lake, that is so amazing! Chris seems like a great roomie too- I'm so glad it all worked out :) Even Fiona is loving the new place!
Glad you are keeping your job at Busch's too and still looking for another to supplement it. I know that you have your heart set on waitressing because that's what you were doing when you had your surgeries, but it may be ok to look at other opportunities as well :) Maybe at a dry cleaners or as a beer cart girl- woo hoo lol. Either way- you are doing great right now and you are really showing your 'dis'ability who is boss!
Considering you are COOKING for yourself now (big girl! lol), I figured I would share this recipe with you, it's healthy and not to complicated. I modified it from http://www.thecomfortofcooking.com/2012/04/chicken-fajita-pizza.html
So last week I got to visit your apartment and all I can say is: "You lucky B****!!!" ;) Your place is amazing- I am in LOVE with it. The kitchen is super cute and your walk-in closet/half bath is perfecto! AND being right on the water, what the heck. Mom may be living vicariously through you because you live on a lake. Almost everyone I know wants to live on a lake, that is so amazing! Chris seems like a great roomie too- I'm so glad it all worked out :) Even Fiona is loving the new place!
Glad you are keeping your job at Busch's too and still looking for another to supplement it. I know that you have your heart set on waitressing because that's what you were doing when you had your surgeries, but it may be ok to look at other opportunities as well :) Maybe at a dry cleaners or as a beer cart girl- woo hoo lol. Either way- you are doing great right now and you are really showing your 'dis'ability who is boss!
Considering you are COOKING for yourself now (big girl! lol), I figured I would share this recipe with you, it's healthy and not to complicated. I modified it from http://www.thecomfortofcooking.com/2012/04/chicken-fajita-pizza.html
Fajita Pizza
INGREDIENTS:
1/2 packet taco seasoning
1 refrigerated whole grain pizza crust (you can find it by refrigerated cinnamon rolls at grocery store)
2 cups chunky-style salsa
2 cups (8 oz.) Reduced fat mexican cheese
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1 15 oz. can black beans, drained
1/2 red onion, cut into thin slices
2 Tbsp. sliced green onion or minced cilantro
Sour cream, optional
DIRECTIONS:
Place crust on baking sheet or pizza pan. Pre-bake crust 8 minutes at 400 degrees F (or follow package instructions if different). After the 8 minutes- Spread salsa over crust; top with cheese, bell pepper, black beans and red onion. Sprinkle with taco seasoning. Bake an additional 6-10 minutes, or until cheese is melted. Sprinkle with green onions or cilantro. Serve with sour cream, if desired.
Enjoy!
Perhaps you can make this for you and the roomie ;) You will have leftovers too! Jeff and I also like to top it with avocado if you're into that sorta thing.
Anyway I love you and I'm super proud of you and the steps you are taking to be independent. Keep staying active in your groups because I know you will continue to inspire others just as you have inspired me :)
XOXO,
Brooke
Friday, May 16, 2014
Exciting Things
Dear Meagan,
So many exciting things are going on in your life right now! You seem to be doing well with your job and you are finally getting your new apartment (pending the roommate search lol). Woooo hoooooo! I just got a chance to check out the apartments online- and they look VERY nice. I can't wait to come visit and we can walk to downtown and hit the shops!
I heard you had to drop summer classes- WHICH IS OK! I don't know many people who still get or go for a degree after a brain injury so just the thought of classes is incredible :) School will be a slower process for you, or maybe something you do later in life like Grandma did! We will see- just stay positive and know that we're all proud of you :)
ANNNDDD you get to come visit me next weekend! Which is probably the best of all- we will defs go to the dairy store and hopefully the pool if it's nice. We also live right by some pretty sweet tennis courts that we can go visit!
Keep trucking girl! Keep supporting your brain tumor survivors and living the good life :) Your resilience is amazing and no doubt an act of God- so use it!
I Love You!
XOXO,
Brooke
So many exciting things are going on in your life right now! You seem to be doing well with your job and you are finally getting your new apartment (pending the roommate search lol). Woooo hoooooo! I just got a chance to check out the apartments online- and they look VERY nice. I can't wait to come visit and we can walk to downtown and hit the shops!
I heard you had to drop summer classes- WHICH IS OK! I don't know many people who still get or go for a degree after a brain injury so just the thought of classes is incredible :) School will be a slower process for you, or maybe something you do later in life like Grandma did! We will see- just stay positive and know that we're all proud of you :)
ANNNDDD you get to come visit me next weekend! Which is probably the best of all- we will defs go to the dairy store and hopefully the pool if it's nice. We also live right by some pretty sweet tennis courts that we can go visit!
Keep trucking girl! Keep supporting your brain tumor survivors and living the good life :) Your resilience is amazing and no doubt an act of God- so use it!
I Love You!
XOXO,
Brooke
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Deutsch Final!
Dear Meagan,
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR GERMAN FINAL TODAY SISSY! You are a rock star and you are going to ace it! #Wirsprechendeutsch!
XOXO,
Brooke
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR GERMAN FINAL TODAY SISSY! You are a rock star and you are going to ace it! #Wirsprechendeutsch!
XOXO,
Brooke
Thursday, March 27, 2014
For your next rainy day...
Dear Meagan,
'You'll be ok' by A Great Big World :)
'You'll be ok' by A Great Big World :)
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
And change will come
It's on it's way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
'Cause you're never alone
I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way
Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday
'Cause you're never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
And I will be strong
When love is gone
I'll carry on...
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
When you need it the most
And all you've got is a prayer
You must carry on
You will understand
You will understand
You will understand
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
You'll be okay.
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
And change will come
It's on it's way
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
'Cause you're never alone
I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just look inside
You know the way
Let it go
Fly away
And say goodbye
To yesterday
'Cause you're never alone
And I will always be there
You just carry on
You will understand
And I will be strong
When love is gone
I'll carry on...
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
The sun will rise
To better days
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
Just close your eyes
And let it rain
When you need it the most
And all you've got is a prayer
You must carry on
You will understand
You will understand
You will understand
You'll be okay
You'll be okay
You'll be okay.
Just keep this one in your back pocket. Love you schwester :)
XOXO,
Brooke
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