A Hiccup

Dear Meagan,

Sooooo... we just found out that one of your kidney's isn't doing what it should (silly thing). And I just wanted to take this blog to tell you how proud of you I am for not letting this 'hiccup' effect you. 

In one week (ok 8.5 days) you'll get that little tiny shunt put in there to see if it'll help make you as good as new ;) And EVERY, I mean EVERY time I've talked to you about it, you have been so positive it amazes me!

You just say, "Ugh my kidney hurts, can't wait to get this over with so I can move on!" Now THAT my friend is the right attitude :) On your facebook wall I wrote that at this point, we know you can get through anything and I mean it!

Meggy you have overcome more than what a lot of people have to deal with in a lifetime, and your only 22! You have INCREDIBLE strength. I know it's hard to look at the good things that have resulted from your struggles.  But I hope your "I can do anything" attitude about your kidney surgery helps you realize that you have developed the ability to overcome any obstacle.

Anything that you set your sights or your hopes on, you can achieve.  Some things may be harder than others, but you have strength that I admire, all obstacles will be nothing but 'hiccups' to you! At first I was going to call this post 'a bump in the road' but honestly it's not even that to you! It's not even as big as a bump in your mind, just a small 'hiccup.'  Meggers that is AMAZING!

I love you and I just really hope you know that whatever goals you write down, and consistently work towards you can do.  I believe you will be fully supporting and taking care of yourself in the next couple months with all of the progress you have made, which is unbelievable :)

So soooo soooooo PROUD of ya sis!

XOXO,

Brooke

People Principles

Dear Meagan,

Our relationships with people are absolutely everything. Sometimes it seems IMPOSSIBLE to get along with certain people and well these principles aren't a 100% guarantee to understanding people and relationships, they sure clear things up quite a bit! We have to remember that the world consists entirely of other people except for one minor exception (you), and because of that our success, happiness, peace of mind, and (hopefully low) stress level depends on how we interact with people.

Again, I am not the expert here just quoting the experts to help you on your journey of recovery :)  I know it's hard to relate to some people who don't know what you've been through. And I know some people have been down right rude, not knowing where you've been and where your going.  These principles, written by John C. Maxwell in his book, "Winning With People" should help you figure out how to relate to people again post-surgery and post-recovery, moving back into life as we know it <3 I've included some of my interpretations underneath a select few! It's long so bare with me :)

The Readiness Question: Are we prepared for relationships?

• The Lens Principle: Who we are determines how we see others.
• The Mirror Principle: The first person we must examine is ourselves.
• Often in relationship problems (not just romantic relationships, relationships with anyone) we are quick to blame, sometimes we need to look in the mirror and figure out where the responsibility lies in us.
• The Pain Principle: Hurting people hurt people are and are easily hurt by them.
•  When someone is hurting you and it seems unfair, try to understand it is just because they are hurting, and unfortunately hurting others is how they often cope.
• ALSO, if others are offended very easily by comments it may not have to do with what you said, it may just be because they are hurting emotionally.
• The Hammer Principle: Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someones head.
• Make sure your reactions are appropriately sized to what's at hand
• The Elevator Principle: We can lift people up or take people down in our relationships.

The Connection Question: Are we willing to focus on others?

• The Big Picture Principle: The entire population of the world-with one minor exception- is composed of others.
• The Exchange Principle: Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place.
• Just like walking in someone else's shoes :)
• The Learning Principle: Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something.
• The Charisma Principle: People are interested in the person who is interested in them.
• Show interest in people and they will (usually) return the favor
• The Number 10 Principle: Believing the best in people usually brings the best out of people.
• People live up to our expectations of them, so make sure they are positive
• The Confrontation Principle: Caring for people should precede confronting people.
• When you must confront people, make sure you show you care FIRST.

The Trust Question: Can we build mutual trust?

• The Bedrock Principle: Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
• The Situation Principle: Never let the situation mean more than the relationship.
• Especially @ the Jersey Shore ;)
• The Bob Principle: When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem.
• My personal favorite!
• The Approachability Principle: Being at ease with ourselves helps others be at ease with us.
• The Foxhole Principle: When preparing for a battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend.

The Investment Question: Are we willing to invest in others?

• The Gardening Principle: All relationships need cultivation.
• The 101 Percent Principle: Find the 1 percent we agree on and give it 100 percent of our effort.
• This is perfect for people you just CAN'T get along with, find the 1% you two agree on, and just talk about that.
• The Patience Principle: The journey with others in slower than the journey alone.
• John  Maxwell uses traveling as an example here... traveling with others may be more hectic and A LOT slower than traveling alone, but traveling with others is so much more rewarding.
• The Celebration Principle: The true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed.
• <3 this one as well, you can tell a true friend by who is truly happy when you do well!
• The High Road Principle: We go to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us.
• Next time someone is treating you bad, treat them extra nice. The reward? A better feeling about yourself AND seeing the confused look on their face :-P

The Synergy Question: Can we create a win-win relationship?

• The Boomerang Principle: When we help others, we help ourselves.
• Help others as often as you can, even when there is no promise of reward.
• The Friendship Principle: All things being equal, people will work with people they like; all things not being equal, they still will.
• Let's say you love your hair dresser, but you hear of a cheaper one down the road, chance are you will stick with your current hair dresser because you trust & like her
• The Partnership Principle: Working together increases the odds of winning together.
• The Satisfaction Principle: In great relationships, the joy of being together is enough.
• I <3 hanging w/ you! <3

Hope this helps Meggy! Thanks for reading- super long this week! I love you girl, every night I pray for God to make you a miracle :)

XOXO,

Brooke

You have to push through

Dear Meagan,

A little poem for you :)

When you are tested

When you feel rested

You should conquer what you do

But when you are tested

You have to push through

When you are feeling your best

The world will throw life at you

That’s the test

And at that time you cannot rest

You must never, never give up

Only 5% of people achieve the dreams

They push through every slip up

They know what perseverance means

Success doesn’t come to those who crumble

It doesn’t come to those who whine

It does comes to those you fumble

And decide to continue, every time

Achievement is an entity we all can own

But it doesn’t happen when we moan

It happens when we overcome struggles

It happens when we pop our bubbles

To get comfortable,

You have to get uncomfortable first

You have to push yourself

Until you could burst

The trick to being all you can

Lies in every single woman and man

When times are tough

And things look a little rough

You have to decide

That you won’t take the easy ride

You have to decide that you will get up

That you will take the stairs and not the slide

That you will take the responsibility

Instead of giving blame

You will take the high road

Instead of the shame

When you feel rested

You should conquer what you do

But when you are tested

You have to push through

You can do ANYTHING Meagan Ann from Japan :)  When things are rough, look at it as an opportunity to grow and overcome the challenges!

I love you always <3

XOXO, 

Brooke

I Hope You Dance

Dear Meagan,

This song will ALWAYS remind me of you. I love you and through all of your struggles, I HOPE YOU DANCE :)

I Hope You Dance lyrics
Lee Ann Womack
Songwriters: Sanders, Mark D.; Sillers, Tia;

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty-handed

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth making

Don't let some hell-bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

Dance
I hope you dance
(Dance)
I hope you dance
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder
(Dance)
Where those years have gone
(Dance)




I also hope this song brought a smile to your heart <3 I don't know how you feel when you hear it-- but whenever I see you read that little book you have, or whenever I see you listen to this song... you just look alive, full & whole... I hope you dance for the rest of your days:)

XOXO,

Brooke

Sisterly Love

Dear Meagan,

Growing up all sister's no doubt have their up's and down's-- the down's are usually during the growing up phase, but it's mostly up's from there! I'm so glad we've become so close and such good friends and in honor of that I thought I would fill this week's blog's with quotes on sisters! I love you and Amanda sooooo much and I think God picked the perfect sisters for me!

"No matter who you've become, your sister knows where you began, how it all started. She may be the only person who has the ability to recount every good, great, or stupid thing you've ever done. She understands the girl inside the grown-up woman you are today, and that is no small thing."

"If your going to break a house rule, it's best to do it together."

"No matter what the scheme, you can always count HER in."

"The definition of cooperation: Cramming a mountain of hair products, a ton of makeup, a hairdryer, a set of hot rollers, a radio, and a couple of sisters into a small bathroom with a single outlet mirror." (so us except make it 3 sisters! lol)

LOVE THIS ONE!:
"You got in her stuff. She got in your face. You shut her finger in the door (okay, accidentally). She kicked you off the couch. But now when you're together, you sometimes laugh so much you feel certain Mom is going to show up and tell you to keep it down. How it can be, nobody knows, but sisters all over the world understand that it is absolutely possible to love somebody who used to drive you nuts- and maybe sometimes still does."

"Your sister will ALWAYS cover for you... for a PRICE!"

"Finally, you got your long-awaited privacy, your own grown-up life, and you wound up calling her all the time, just to see what she was doing. You wouldn't have guessed it years ago while you were yelling at her through the bathroom door, but there's so much comfort, such relief in having someone in your life who has always known you, who gets your jokes, accepts your eccentricities, and shares your deeply held belief that the only acceptable lasagna is the kind made form Grandma's recipe.  That's why a sister is a friend like no other, That's why you wouldn't trade her for anything in the world."

Love these sister quotes, and love you!

XOXO,

Brooke

Steps to Success & Happiness

Dear Meagan,

Jeff & I have a friend/mentor who's wife recently passed away :/ And while that is a bit of sad news our friend wrote 11 steps to happiness and success based on her life; because she was a very happy, loving, and successful person, who can teach us a lot.

1. Be optimistic- This will permanently increase your happiness.
2. Stay close to friends & family- they bring more happiness than money.
3. Give to others- Have more concern for others than yourself.
4. Smile- Always makes you feel better, fake it if you have too.
5. Forgive- People who can forgive have better health than those who don't. Not forgiving someone hurts you more than it does them.
6. Make friends who share your interests or faith- This is  where your tumor and brain surgery/injury groups come in :)
7. Have faith.
8. Always have something in your calendar to look forward too- Even if it's as simple as a day in the park.
9. Follow your gut- Make decisions because they feel right and then make those decisions work.
10. Make enough money for your basic needs- Money won't buy you happiness but neither does being broke. The average American needs $40,000/year to cover their basic needs comfortably.
11. Find happiness in whatever it is you do in life- Find work you love and stay there. 83% of Americans don't like their jobs, be the 17%.

Hope this helps girlie :) I'm telling you the woman who this is based off of REALLY had it figured out. Short and sweet this week... I love you sis!

XOXO,

Brooke

Reap A Destiny

Dear Meagan,

I am so excited for you and proud of you goal list!!! Here's the thing about goals-- lifelong ones are often not accomplished in one day.  It is our daily habits that determine whether or not our goals are achieved.   Here is one of my favorite, favorite quotes:

"Sow a thought and you reap an action;

sow an action and your reap a habit; 

sow a habit and you reap a character;

sow a character and  you reap a destiny."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Basically positive thoughts about your goals lead to action towards them-- actions lead to habits-- daily habits determine  your personality or your character-- and your personality determines your destiny!

Below is the list of goals you made and I have added some 'suggested' habits or actions for you to take! You may have some better ideas than me... and if you do that's great- go for 'em! I'm just making suggestions to get ya thinking, but of course the actions you decide on are up to  you-- just make sure to decide and write them down :)

 

My bucket list of goals :)

by Meagan Sutherland on Saturday, June 30, 2012 at 6:16am ·

• Family- 2 kids, most likely because I really didnt enjoy being a middle kid but looking back on it I would consider it because it wasnt so terrible. If there were 4 kids it would be doable because there is not 1 specific middle child 
• For a mom-to-be it's never to early to start learning how to be the parent  you want to be! Start reading about parenting, either magazines or books. Sit down and determine how you were 'parented', what you liked and what you want to improve upon (even though you are perfect Mom & Dad ;) Love you!). These habits will lead to some fabulous kids someday!
• Influential- help nero-injury people
•  So you definitely are already taking steps towards this by contacting neuro or tumor recover groups.  The next step is to start attending events and/or asking how you can help and then following through with your responsibilities!
• experential- learn how to avoid getting annoyed and to help others recognize theyre getting annoyed
• The absolute best way to improve on your patience and people skills is to read books about patience and people skills. I know you are reading Personality Plus right now, a great book for learning about people, personalities, and temperaments! Let me know when you are done and we can get you more to read! But 15 minutes a day of reading out of these books will do WONDERS. You'll be able to help yourself and others as well!
• physical- be able to run fast.. "I wanna go fast"
• This is a great goal to take in baby steps! Start by just walking around our block everyday... once  you've mastered that move to a 'mall walk', you know the one where you wiggle  your butt? Lol... Keep advancing until you 'go fast'!!!
• travel- hit up the amazing places my grandparents have visited.. defintley alaska
• I'm a traveler too, must be in our blood!  Traveling is amazing but you need one thing- $$$!!! Open a checking account for traveling and every check or gift you get put5% in your travel account or whatever you see fit.  Even if you don't want to travel for a couple years this goal is only a wish until you start taking action towards it.  Once the action is taken it's a goal that can be achieved!
• financial- make enough money to support myself and be happy that im no longer stuck in a materialistic mindset
• This is GREAT Meggy! I know your so close to being completely independent again and this goal is necessary in order to accomplish that. Again start small and work up to it-- If you were to jump into a 40 hour a week physical labor job-- it might not last very long lol. But start just a few hours a week and again follow through with the responsibility. There will be plenty of days you would rather bite off your arm than go to work but that's when you remember this goal.  That's when you remember that your daily actions determine your destiny.

Daily actions determine your destiny but even before that, our thoughts determine our actions.  I'll touch on that next week.  I love you Meagan Ann from Japan! The world is your oyster!!!

XOXO,

Brooke