Dear Meagan,
I am about half way through Cheryl Strayed's book 'Wild'. It just got made into a movie starring Reese Witherspoon (can't wait to see that!). It is an honest biography about some of the hards ships that Cheryl went through followed by her journey through self-discovery and healing. While her background is very different than yours (hers is more drugs, loss of her mom, promiscuity), you both have gone through some stuff early on in your lives. What Cheryl decided to do was go on a hike along the Pacific Coast Trail which stretches from Southern California to the Northern Washington, essentially the entire length of the West coast. She hikes most of that trail alone! While I have not finished the book yet, it seems this hike is the hardest thing she has ever done. Harder than all the other things she has been through, which is making her stronger and helping her move on. I feel like you are on that trail right now and just reached Washington- only a relatively small stretch to the Canadian border. Your goal of finding something positive in every day is amazing but I think to reach full recovery you need to do one more thing: make yourself do AT LEAST one thing everyday that you don't want to do. Life is fun and can be simple but to be fulfilled we have to be capable of pushing ourselves. It has to be an inward motivation and the only way to achieve this is through practice. I made a list of a few examples of things you can do that will move your forward... simple daily decisions. These are things that you would normally think, "I don't give a sh*t" ;) But if you push yourself just once each day and just buck up and do it... you to will get stronger and stronger. You have come so far, don't slip back now... just a little stretch left to go.
Some days you will want to do all of these things and that is great! On those days you will have to come up with something that you don't want to do that will move you forward and do it! So everyday when you REALLY don't want to make one of these decisions, make it anyway! This one decision each day will push you to the Canadian border ;)
1. Go to the gym to do your PT excercises/cardio instead of watching TV
2. Read about memory improvement techniques (ex. the book I got you!) instead of watching TV
3. For dinner, decide to make a healthy meal instead of going to get fast food
4. Stick to a commitment you don't want to stick too (volunteering, visiting someone, etc).
5. Straighten your hair (just cuz I know you like it better straight than curly ;)
6. Call someone you haven't talked to in awhile
7. Do some housework that you wouldn't normally do
8. Go on a walk instead of sitting inside
9. Go on lumonisity/work on recalling your day
10. Write in your calendar/plan out your day instead of letting it pass by
Doesn't sound so fun right? Too bad ;) lol- keep pushing yourself Meaggy. The motivation to drive forward has to come form within. You can do this, you are too close not too.
I love you!
XOXO,
Brooke
