People Principles

Dear Meagan,

Our relationships with people are absolutely everything. Sometimes it seems IMPOSSIBLE to get along with certain people and well these principles aren't a 100% guarantee to understanding people and relationships, they sure clear things up quite a bit! We have to remember that the world consists entirely of other people except for one minor exception (you), and because of that our success, happiness, peace of mind, and (hopefully low) stress level depends on how we interact with people.

Again, I am not the expert here just quoting the experts to help you on your journey of recovery :)  I know it's hard to relate to some people who don't know what you've been through. And I know some people have been down right rude, not knowing where you've been and where your going.  These principles, written by John C. Maxwell in his book, "Winning With People" should help you figure out how to relate to people again post-surgery and post-recovery, moving back into life as we know it <3 I've included some of my interpretations underneath a select few! It's long so bare with me :)

The Readiness Question: Are we prepared for relationships?

• The Lens Principle: Who we are determines how we see others.
• The Mirror Principle: The first person we must examine is ourselves.
• Often in relationship problems (not just romantic relationships, relationships with anyone) we are quick to blame, sometimes we need to look in the mirror and figure out where the responsibility lies in us.
• The Pain Principle: Hurting people hurt people are and are easily hurt by them.
•  When someone is hurting you and it seems unfair, try to understand it is just because they are hurting, and unfortunately hurting others is how they often cope.
• ALSO, if others are offended very easily by comments it may not have to do with what you said, it may just be because they are hurting emotionally.
• The Hammer Principle: Never use a hammer to swat a fly off someones head.
• Make sure your reactions are appropriately sized to what's at hand
• The Elevator Principle: We can lift people up or take people down in our relationships.

The Connection Question: Are we willing to focus on others?

• The Big Picture Principle: The entire population of the world-with one minor exception- is composed of others.
• The Exchange Principle: Instead of putting others in their place, we must put ourselves in their place.
• Just like walking in someone else's shoes :)
• The Learning Principle: Each person we meet has the potential to teach us something.
• The Charisma Principle: People are interested in the person who is interested in them.
• Show interest in people and they will (usually) return the favor
• The Number 10 Principle: Believing the best in people usually brings the best out of people.
• People live up to our expectations of them, so make sure they are positive
• The Confrontation Principle: Caring for people should precede confronting people.
• When you must confront people, make sure you show you care FIRST.

The Trust Question: Can we build mutual trust?

• The Bedrock Principle: Trust is the foundation of any relationship.
• The Situation Principle: Never let the situation mean more than the relationship.
• Especially @ the Jersey Shore ;)
• The Bob Principle: When Bob has a problem with everyone, Bob is usually the problem.
• My personal favorite!
• The Approachability Principle: Being at ease with ourselves helps others be at ease with us.
• The Foxhole Principle: When preparing for a battle, dig a hole big enough for a friend.

The Investment Question: Are we willing to invest in others?

• The Gardening Principle: All relationships need cultivation.
• The 101 Percent Principle: Find the 1 percent we agree on and give it 100 percent of our effort.
• This is perfect for people you just CAN'T get along with, find the 1% you two agree on, and just talk about that.
• The Patience Principle: The journey with others in slower than the journey alone.
• John  Maxwell uses traveling as an example here... traveling with others may be more hectic and A LOT slower than traveling alone, but traveling with others is so much more rewarding.
• The Celebration Principle: The true test of relationships is not only how loyal we are when friends fail, but how thrilled we are when they succeed.
• <3 this one as well, you can tell a true friend by who is truly happy when you do well!
• The High Road Principle: We go to a higher level when we treat others better than they treat us.
• Next time someone is treating you bad, treat them extra nice. The reward? A better feeling about yourself AND seeing the confused look on their face :-P

The Synergy Question: Can we create a win-win relationship?

• The Boomerang Principle: When we help others, we help ourselves.
• Help others as often as you can, even when there is no promise of reward.
• The Friendship Principle: All things being equal, people will work with people they like; all things not being equal, they still will.
• Let's say you love your hair dresser, but you hear of a cheaper one down the road, chance are you will stick with your current hair dresser because you trust & like her
• The Partnership Principle: Working together increases the odds of winning together.
• The Satisfaction Principle: In great relationships, the joy of being together is enough.
• I <3 hanging w/ you! <3

Hope this helps Meggy! Thanks for reading- super long this week! I love you girl, every night I pray for God to make you a miracle :)

XOXO,

Brooke